http://qldaily.com/exploring-chinatown/
http://qldaily.com/
Enjoy!
I'm not sure I ever mentioned it "officially", but I am a writer for the blog Quarter Life Daily - a site geared towards people in their 20s. It's a brand new site which started earlier this year, and is actually based in Wisconsin - go figure. Around the time I started writing this here blog, I was constantly browsing Craigslist for job opportunities and saw a call for writers for this hip new site for 20yr olds. I submitted and there was no going back. It's a cool site with articles about a wide array of topics - travel, relationships, food, etc. I write things for them that I can't post up here, but I will let you, my dear readers, know when I have another article published. And that is why I'm already writing another post (less than 24hrs since my last one). Feel free to head over and check out my latest article - and browse the writings by other authors - there's some good stuff there :)
http://qldaily.com/exploring-chinatown/ http://qldaily.com/ Enjoy!
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It's 11.31pm and I should be trying to sleep. But I'm feeling irritable and angsty - something I definitely should be past at this point in my life. But seeing as how I never quite went through most stages normal people go through as they are developing, I think I'm still catching up. Sometimes writing things down helps to quite my mind enough to actually sleep. I gots me auditions tomorrow - gotta get some shut eye! So, for your reading pleasure, dear readers, here are some near midnight thoughts I leave to you:
I am seriously irritated by how I just seem to inadvertently piss people off. People take offense or issue with things I say or do when I obviously don't mean to raise a raucous. You'd think people who actually know me would know better. And yes, I know I have a stupid, loud laugh - and I hate how I still feel bad when people shoot me looks in the theatre during a funny show. I'm gunna laugh, people! Why aren't you?! I hate my stupid computer. And I hate the stupid computer battery which doesn't stay in and won't hold any charge anymore. While we're on the subject of technology, I really hate the new FB Timeline. Seriously, why do they keep changing it?! My cat threw up into his food dish. On top of all the fresh food I had just put in there. At least it wasn't on the carpet, the couch, a bed, or my computer this time. But still. What a stupid thing to do. SMH. The guy next to me at the show tonight was this older Asian guy from San Fran and tried to make conversation with me before the show. And while I think I should go outside my comfort zone and talk to strangers sometime, tonight was not that night. He smelled and also was falling asleep towards the end of the first act. Ugh. Speaking of things I should do, I have accomplished doing some new things I've never done before - and more than my goal of 1/week. Time to branch beyond restaurants. I need to save more money than I have been. Does anyone else suffer from chronic headaches? I have them all the time, ever since I was little. What remedies do you use that work? I've considered gouging my eyes out with a spork, and scrapping out the insides of my skull. I am trying to break into a very volatile business. And for the most part, it really blows. But one nice thing about it is you go for months or even years without seeing people, then out of the blue you'll meet up at an audition. It's nice seeing friends you haven't seen in ages. I gotta believe God gave me all these health problems for the simple fact that if I wasn't hindered by the multiple maladies with which I am afflicted, I would be waaay too awesome for this business to handle. And just because, here's a picture that will make you feel better: I've been crazy busy for the past few weeks: early mornings, running to and from auditions, dance/voice/acting classes, rehearsal for shows and my own personal rehearsal times, reading plays and librettos, reading theatre related books, the list goes on (and on. and on. and oooooon ;P). Don't misunderstand me - I absolutely love being busy doing the things I was created to do, and in some ways I couldn't be happier. Ever since moving to NY, I've often heard people who have been in the business for a while say things like, "There's more to life than theatre" "Have a social life/group beyond just theatre people" "Live your life" "Get out there - don't let theatre become your whole life. It's a job." And honestly, I never really understood them. I would think, "Maybe that's ok for you - but this is what I was created to do, it is my love/passion/life/and my job - how lucky am I! Why would I need anything else?" Maybe that sounds silly, but it was true. I didn't understand/couldn't comprehend why anyone would need a life outside the theatre. Maybe it is my lack of social graces or dislike of traveling beyond the known that hindered my thinking. But I had a wake up call last night when I was at a friend's bachelorette party and I kept dozing off because I was so tired from all the work and running around I'd been doing! I felt terrible about that. I was missing out on life happening around me and to me because I kept nodding off! Auditions will always be around - they won't miss me and I won't miss the tiny windows of opportunity every once in a while. Friends are a part of your life that need to be nurtured and cultivated and cared for, and I really need to be a less selfish person when it comes to dealing with the amazing people God has brought into my life.
I also saw a video yesterday of a guy's last day working in a wild-life park, and he was saying goodbye to 4 lion cubs he had obviously gotten close to. The cubs were all around him, taking turns piling into his lap and hugging him! They would wrap their paws around his neck, rub their faces against his, and one even kissed him! And it came up (also yesterday), that one of my best friends in the whole world is going to Thailand for two weeks this summer to do volunteer work. And another friend is picking up and moving to Florida - because the weather is great there, and why not? There are job opportunities for her there just as well as back home, so why not pick someplace you like? Everything just got me thinking. I live in a world, a whole world, where I have the option/opportunity/ability to do anything I want. I think I'm still coping with the fact that I am now an adult and on my own, without parents/institutions telling me what I can and cannot do. Of course, things I decide to do may have consequences, but it's my choice whether they are worth the experience. I remember reading some articles recently where older/retired people had said they wished they'd done more of what they wanted to do when they were younger, and not waited until they felt they had enough money to splurge. Because, let's face it, the more money you make, probably the more you'll want to hang onto it. And how much is enough before you will allow yourself a vacation or fun adventure somewhere? Money is just money. It doesn't love you and create memories that will last you a lifetime. It might help make things a little easier - but easy isn't always better, and a good challenge is always stimulating and leaves you feeling more successful and good about yourself. There is more to life than theatre. GASP! I said it. Because now I understand and believe it. There is so much I want to do and see - and I only get one life in which to do it (or at least remember - several of my friends are convinced I've been reincarnated several times, most recently as a cat). As Avenue Q tells us, "You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime." Well, I am an adult woman now - what do I want, and how do I go about pursuing it? I've always wanted to travel and see the world, I am passionate about animals, and I would like to do some volunteer work in another country. But I would also love to just travel and indulge myself in beautiful locales and be the ultimate non-touristy tourist. And everything I do and see will expand and broaden me as a person - my experiences and knowledge about life and people and cultures, which in turn will make me an even better actress - which is another thing people had said, and I, in my ignorance, brushed off. It's a win-win. I believe most Americans suffer from too much obligation and have a massive guilt complex. I know I feel like I can't/am not allowed to do something unless I've earned it. I won't buy such-and-such until I book this job or work so many hours, or until I feel I've accomplished something to make up for the fact I feel guilty about indulging myself. We feel unworthy and undeserving. My mom tells me (quite often) that I need to be kind to myself. That's something I'm still struggling with a bit. I don't understand why I feel guilty all the time, but I do - and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Maybe if I saw myself the way God does, I'd be kinder to myself. But that's another concept I can't seem to grasp at the moment. I'm not quite sure how to go about using my new found realization. One thing I'm going to do is try something new in NYC to do every week. I've lived here for 2 1/2yrs already, and I've gotten into a routine. I visit the same neighborhoods, do the same activities, eat at the same restaurants. I pass dozens of places everyday that I've never even walked into. So, every week I am going to try one new thing I've never done before - whether it be eating at a new restaurant (stupid easy to do), visiting a museum, taking a walk in a new part of town, doing happy hour at a different bar, or talking to a person I've never met before. That's just what I can see easily doing here. But what about my larger, much less focused plans? Where do I want to travel? What do I want to do? How can I afford to do it? Do I do it solo, with a friend, or is there some organization I can get involved with? So many questions, and very few answers. Thoughts/ideas/suggestions?? I can't remember where I head/read this quote first, but I find it aptly fitting: "Life is an Occasion - Rise to it." One of the reasons I started this blog was to get me writing again. And now I've gone a whole week without posting. ::cyber slap:: So, what to say? Where to begin?
I'm sick. Again. I felt the stirrings of a cold beast in my throat a little over a week ago. It was one of those "oh no, I know I'm getting sick and it's completely unavoidable and there's nothing I can do to prevent what's a'comin'" moments. It's always the same story. Each day brings a new symptom in the stage of cold sickness. Itchy/scratchy throat, dripping sinuses, stuffy head, sneezing and nose blowing in copious amounts while it gets continually harder to swallow and talk, glands get swollen, hard to sleep at night because of all the sinus pressure, you want to scrape your throat out with a spoon to relieve the raw pain, coughing at night and sniffling disgusting amounts, jaw and neck pain from being so tense, etc. etc. etc. It's never a sunny looking prospect for the next week when you know you're going to be sick. But I had auditions, and lots of them. I HAD to sing! I was not going to let my body screw me over in this manner again. I already have a small arsenal of remedies and products I use to try to stave off such illnesses, but they obviously have never been very successful. Sinus cleanses, gargling with salt water, drinking tea and water, and taking mucinex, tylenol, and an assortment of coughdrops. These gave some relief, but never helped all that much. So I took to Facebook and my network of friends to help me out with their home remedy sickness solutions. I went to the market and bought fresh ginger, and at Bed, Bath, and Beyond I loaded up on three new and different types of medicated cough drops: Chloraseptic Warming Sore Throat (honey lemon), Cold-Eeze (zinc gluconate glycine), and Smith Brothers warm apple pie warming throat drops (pectin). I boiled water and added in shavings and chunks of the fresh ginger, steeping it for about 5 minutes. The first cup of fresh ginger tea I drank straight. But subsequent cups I made so strong that I added a spoonful of the fresh summer/fall honey from the Union Square Farmer's Market and that was an even better and more soothing combination. The Cold-Eeze zinc drops (in strawberries and cream flavor), were delicious at first, but the more I had, the funkier the taste got. I'm not sure if it's because my taste buds are kinda wonky because of being sick, or if the zinc coating my throat is a foreign thing to my body, but it left my tongue and mouth feeling really weird - but it did seem to help. The Chloraseptic drops I was not a fan of at first, the flavor seemed really weird and strong. But they really helped soothe my sore throat for long periods of time, and the more I had, the better the taste was. I'm currently sucking on a Warm Applie Pie w/ pectin drop, and it's pretty delicious. There are also bits of cinnamon in it, and already my throat has lost the scratchy/sore feeling it had when I first woke up. I'm also trying to eat well (I generally eat very healthily, anyway), and stay away from dairy products as they really make things a whole lot worse - coating everything in a gunky, bad way and glopping everything together. Yeah, not good news. Maybe I'm just prolonging the inevitable, but it has been great to be "sick" yet still able to function at almost 100% capacity for the past week instead of laid up in bed completely miserable. I'm also not sure how much of this is allergy related - because NY has pretty much decided Spring starts NOW - which I absolutely love, but that means a whole lot of stuff is being released into the air and messin' with my sinuses. So, I wish you all health and wealth. And if you feel yourself feeling under the weather, try some new remedies - you never know what will help! My poor, lovely, long-suffering roommate. I talk in my sleep. Constantly. And vehemently. Many nights I, apparently, am very urgent and frantic in my midnight mutterings - though I never recall what my subconscious is experiencing to produce such vocalizations. I remember one time my mom tried to record my sleep speaking - but I was somehow just aware enough that I was being recorded that I didn't speak that night. Weird.
Well, two nights ago, something brought me immediately out of a deep and comfortable sleep, roundabout the early 3 o'clock hour. Something in the living room stirred me up - t wasn't Stry, as he was asleep next to me. It was one of those eyes-immediately-wide-and-rolling-WTF?!- is-happening?! moments. The bedroom door was partially closed and had multiple towels hanging/piled on top, and there was a bit of light shining on it from the living room. My eyes didn't see a door with towels on top with light shining from the next room. Oh no, dear readers. Most definitely not. What I saw at 3am was a Tim Burton-esq character, with super, super long skinny legs and a boxy hunched back, with a long beaky nose. A brief play-by-play happened as thus: I hear a noise and startle awake with a yell, half sit up wildly looking around, my eyes light upon that "person" and I freak out with another strangled yell, and then commence to have a conversation with "him" about needing to be the first to do something (I'm not sure if it was actually spoken out loud or if I was thinking the entire conversation with "him"). It was very urgent that I be the first one to do this one thing - I can't quite recall what it was, but whatever it was I NEEDED to do/get seen/accomplish whatever before this other girl. After this continued on for a little while, I slowly realized that I was talking to a pile of towels on a door in my apartment and how silly was that. I then proceeded to fall gratefully into unconsciousness again. I just recently took up writing, again, and it's been pretty nice. I used to write all the time, starting back in 4th grade. And I was a voracious reader. I was browsing through my stories and poems, and while some of it is laughably awful, others hold a little place in my heart. So, here's a glimpse into my old writings. This happens to be my favorite poem. I'm not quite sure why, but it has always just resonated with me. Take that as you will.
Take Down The Power Build up the castle, find the tower, take up the pyramid, take down the power. Find the shrine, ask it what's best, find the sphinx, take it's test. Climb the tower, upon the water, find the pyramid, take down the power. 'Till the cyborg war begins, 'till the lich king takes back what is his, 'till the spiders invade again, build up the castle, find the tower, take up the pyramid, take down the power. I just got back from (Finally!!) seeing War Horse at Lincoln Center. Wow. I hardly know what to even say. I guess I'll start with what I know. I cried 7 times. That's right. Seven. I don't cry often. In fact, I can't really remember the last time I actually did cry - and whenever it was, I'm sure it had nothing to do with art, and probably everything to do with being depressed or some such tommy-rot. But this production, oh how it spoke to my heart from the very start. It's funny - I had wanted to wait to see the movie until after seeing the stage production, because I thought actually seeing it brought to life in the way a movie can portray it would be more moving than on stage with puppets. Oh, Julia - I shake my head at you. How many times did you cry during War Horse the movie? Zero. I was close, very close at several points - but it just seemed too horrible and real in a way that cut me off instead of drawing me in. War Horse the play drew me in the very instant Foal Joey bounded on stage, and held me its willing captive til the very end when a temporarily blinded Albert is reunited just in the nick of time with his beloved Joey. I'm sure it touched me in different ways than some audience members because of my long history with horses - but you definitely don't need to have that connection to be moved by this play. I'm sure I wasn't the only one shedding tears of joy and sorrow in that theatre tonight.
The set, staging, animatronics, hydraulics, effects, lights, puppetry - everything was superb. It was wild, and exhilarating, and heart-breaking, and scary, and it took your breath away. And then it was all over. They were bowing and I was still so caught up in the action that had just taken place I just sat there slightly dazed in my seat, until Albert stepped forward for his solo bow and I revived enough to jump to my feet and start the audience in a well deserved standing ovation. The puppet horses came out for their audience recognition as well. I would love to see this again, but I'm not sure I'm ready to be taken on such an emotional ride. Now that the hype has died down somewhat and the holidays are over, they have student rush again - $30 tkts, and I was in the second row. The stage juts far into the audience and gives it an almost theatre-in-the-round type feel, with the action constantly moving around so everything can be seen. And even if you're not a student or don't have a student ID, it is well worth the $60 or $70 something ticket. This show was unlike anything I've ever seen. And one day, I hope to be a part of something just as magnificent. |
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June 2017
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