I also saw a video yesterday of a guy's last day working in a wild-life park, and he was saying goodbye to 4 lion cubs he had obviously gotten close to. The cubs were all around him, taking turns piling into his lap and hugging him! They would wrap their paws around his neck, rub their faces against his, and one even kissed him! And it came up (also yesterday), that one of my best friends in the whole world is going to Thailand for two weeks this summer to do volunteer work. And another friend is picking up and moving to Florida - because the weather is great there, and why not? There are job opportunities for her there just as well as back home, so why not pick someplace you like? Everything just got me thinking. I live in a world, a whole world, where I have the option/opportunity/ability to do anything I want. I think I'm still coping with the fact that I am now an adult and on my own, without parents/institutions telling me what I can and cannot do. Of course, things I decide to do may have consequences, but it's my choice whether they are worth the experience. I remember reading some articles recently where older/retired people had said they wished they'd done more of what they wanted to do when they were younger, and not waited until they felt they had enough money to splurge. Because, let's face it, the more money you make, probably the more you'll want to hang onto it. And how much is enough before you will allow yourself a vacation or fun adventure somewhere? Money is just money. It doesn't love you and create memories that will last you a lifetime. It might help make things a little easier - but easy isn't always better, and a good challenge is always stimulating and leaves you feeling more successful and good about yourself.
There is more to life than theatre. GASP! I said it. Because now I understand and believe it. There is so much I want to do and see - and I only get one life in which to do it (or at least remember - several of my friends are convinced I've been reincarnated several times, most recently as a cat). As Avenue Q tells us, "You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime." Well, I am an adult woman now - what do I want, and how do I go about pursuing it? I've always wanted to travel and see the world, I am passionate about animals, and I would like to do some volunteer work in another country. But I would also love to just travel and indulge myself in beautiful locales and be the ultimate non-touristy tourist. And everything I do and see will expand and broaden me as a person - my experiences and knowledge about life and people and cultures, which in turn will make me an even better actress - which is another thing people had said, and I, in my ignorance, brushed off. It's a win-win.
I believe most Americans suffer from too much obligation and have a massive guilt complex. I know I feel like I can't/am not allowed to do something unless I've earned it. I won't buy such-and-such until I book this job or work so many hours, or until I feel I've accomplished something to make up for the fact I feel guilty about indulging myself. We feel unworthy and undeserving. My mom tells me (quite often) that I need to be kind to myself. That's something I'm still struggling with a bit. I don't understand why I feel guilty all the time, but I do - and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Maybe if I saw myself the way God does, I'd be kinder to myself. But that's another concept I can't seem to grasp at the moment.
I'm not quite sure how to go about using my new found realization. One thing I'm going to do is try something new in NYC to do every week. I've lived here for 2 1/2yrs already, and I've gotten into a routine. I visit the same neighborhoods, do the same activities, eat at the same restaurants. I pass dozens of places everyday that I've never even walked into. So, every week I am going to try one new thing I've never done before - whether it be eating at a new restaurant (stupid easy to do), visiting a museum, taking a walk in a new part of town, doing happy hour at a different bar, or talking to a person I've never met before. That's just what I can see easily doing here. But what about my larger, much less focused plans? Where do I want to travel? What do I want to do? How can I afford to do it? Do I do it solo, with a friend, or is there some organization I can get involved with? So many questions, and very few answers. Thoughts/ideas/suggestions??
I can't remember where I head/read this quote first, but I find it aptly fitting:
"Life is an Occasion - Rise to it."