As you may or may not have known, I started working at WorldStrides as one of their NYC Field Specialists. I was referred to the company by a friend, and after a phone interview I was asked to go in for a personal interview. This was only my 3rd job interview ever and I really wasn't sure what would be happening. It ended up being about an hour - telling me about the job, answering my questions, and then an extensive period where they asked me all sorts of questions about how I would handle different situations. It made my brain feel rather like mush at the end, but I must've done well, seeing as how I got the job.
I'll basically be taking groups of people from point A to points B, C, and D. After signing a non-disclosure form, I'm not sure what all I can share. I had a "trial run" the other week and was sooooooo nervous!! It was a huge group being taken to different theatres, and the weather was simply lovely out - whipping wind, freezing snow/rain, black slush, large puddles, etc. Good times. But my concern was all for naught. It went fine, and the other Field Specialists seemed impressed with me, actually.
I think I've developed a complex because of that one week stint I did as a waitress - it's made me think I'll bail on all my jobs in the future and will be terrible with people. I have come to start realizing in the past week I don't give myself enough credit. The waitressing job is actually the only job I've ever quit, and I did it before I technically started working there - I gave the training period a go and realized it was not for me, so I jumped ship. But I've been working at Instinct for over a year, and while I mainly work with dogs, I do have some interaction with the owners, take phone calls/messages, etc. and am fairly competent. I run a very people-oriented face painting business where kids/parents/clients always leave happy and excited. And I'm an actress. I work with casts of all different sizes and temperaments all the time, and everyone has enjoyed working with me. I can always just pretend to be someone who knows what the heck she's doing and I bet people will believe me. I need to build the faith (or illusion thereof) in myself and my abilities.
Yes, there are a lot of things to remember with WorldStrides (reading their manual gave me those second-thought jitters again), but I've talked to many of the other Field Specialists who've worked there for several seasons, and they've all assured me that it's really just common sense and courtesy you need. I have no problem being nice to people, am good at problem solving (and circumventing problems before they even become problems), and am smarter than I give myself credit for - I need to start trusting in that and believe I can do this job well. I should enjoy this new adventure instead of being nervous about it. And it's not like they're sending me into the field unprepared - my two actual field training times are set up for the end of February and beginning of March.
Want to know something else I'm suuuuuuper excited about? Wednesday, February 13th, after work I went on a little adventure - down to Wall Street to the Department of Consumer Affairs. I applied for and received my vendor permit license!!! Which means I and my facepainting business, Jubilee Face Painting, can now join the NYC street festivals!!!!!!! I've been thinking about doing this ever since moving to NY, but it was just a vague notion back then. My mom tried to get me to figure out how to join, but I wasn't super interested in delving in and hassling with everything that would need doing - money, paperwork, insurance, decisions, decisions, decisions. My dad would ask, in his way, what I was doing for a "survival job". It would always make me irritated. Dad, I'm an actress. Of course I'm going to "make it" (Hah. whatever THAT means...) and therefore have no need for this "survival job" of which you speak. Pish and Tush, old man. Pish and Tush! Or so I thought. I just wanted to audition audition audition. Which I did. And I got a bit of work, but not as much as I thought I would. (Seriously, can we just take a minute to shake our heads in disgust at how saturated this market is?)
I had a most wonderful talk with someone at a friend's engagement party the other week where I was reminded that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I've been living in New York City since Oct 14, 2009, and what a ride it's been. I've been out auditioning for most of that time and have had several seasons to figure it all out. I've basically been doing the same thing every year and expecting different results. Now, I know one needs to keep at it, and it's not like I've been sitting on my laurels - I've been learning and growing, as a person and a performer, and have come far in the past few years. But I may just be starting to (barely) comprehend the notion that this career track is a marathon, not a sprint (something Meredith Patterson said in our commencement speech, and something that has stuck with me ever since). I plan on being in NY for the foreseeable future. I may travel and tour and whatnot, but it seems my roots are slowly digging into the cement and concrete of this city and planting themselves firmly. With time I've come to realize that it's ok to expand my field of focus. I've been hammering diligently away at acting - I need to trust myself (ah, again with that vein of thought) in that all I've learned and done won't just desert me and that I'm capable enough to add in more activities and ventures. Why I continually pile guilt upon myself when I'm not doing what I "should" be doing is beyond me. When I visited home at Christmas, someone told me to get rid of "should" from my vocabulary. I often think I should feel a certain way or should be doing this or that. But really, I feel what I feel - there's no magical way that I should feel. He said it much better than I'm relaying here, but it is a thought I often mull. Whose preconceived notion of "should" am I trying to follow, anyway? There's no magical acting police that will appear and punish me for doing something non-acting related. I'm not sure why I'm so narrow-mindedly feverish in my focus, but you really never know where an opportunity is going to come from, or from what people you meet! My roommate reminded me of this last night at rehearsal.
So, long story short (;P), I did the deed. The fire was lit under my Cookie. I buckled down and figured out how to join the street festivals. It was rather roundabout all the searching online I had to do, especially to get my Employer Identification Number (oi!), but I found the 3 main festival companies, what I needed to have paperwork wise to join their vendor lists, what it was gunna cost me, etc. etc. I also got in contact with the 9th Ave International Food Festival and inquired about joining the festival - I ended up helping out another face painter there when I first moved to NY, and even just helping her out on the side I made quite a bit of green. They finally got back to me, and that was what got me rarin' about getting a Temporary Vendor License. I wasn't sure what it would entail, but I had the address, so after work Wednesday morning I trained down to Wall Street and delved into the world of cubicles, government officials, and paperwork. Lots of paperwork. I think this was the first time I've ever done something like this on my own before - I usually have my mom there guiding me through government paper stuff. I felt so accomplished when I walked out of there with my permit all set in my boney, spindly hand, barely an hour later. 22 and growing up :P
There is nothing wrong with working and living in the city (in fact - it's ok! It's a GOOD thing! Why I have such a hard time coming to terms with this I'm sure I don't know) - so many of my friends have had to do this from day one to make it work. I am extremely blessed and have been able to come to this realization slower and in my own particular way. [That's another thing I've realized about myself this week - often I can not think of something, or it's just a vague notion, or I'm even completely against the idea (gluten free, anyone?) but then all of a sudden will take the idea and RUN with it. It's pretty awesome, once I get to the "understanding/knowing" state of things.]
Getting into the festivals will be expensive - I need to pay the fees to join one or more of the festival organizations, then booth fees for every individual fair, $155-$600 depending on when and where. I'll need to invest in a set up - tent, table, chairs, more painting supplies like brushes, paints, and sponges - and it all needs to be easily portable. I will also need an assistant. It's also a gamble. If the weather is bad/rainy, I may not make enough to recoup the booth fee. I know I'll make money if the weather is good at the Food Festival, but what about the regular street fairs? Are there going to be people/kids interested in face painting at those? I've never seen a painter at them before - is it for a reason, or just because no one does work like I do? They are mainly food and people selling different wares at these fairs, not services. A myriad of questions roil through my noggin. But I've come to the conclusion - it's doable. I can do this. I can and I will. And it will be glorious.
Valentine's Day was yesterday. It's a holiday I'm not really sure why it exists. I'm not saying this from a cynical viewpoint because I'm single (I am happily single. In fact, I woke up this morning with No Strings stuck in my head and it made me smile :), but Saint Valentine was beaten, stoned, and beheaded! Emperor Claudius had made getting married illegal because he wanted better soldiers - ones who weren't concerned with wife and family. Saint Valentine went against this edict and performed Christian marriages in secret. He was eventually caught, and while he was in prison awaiting his ultimate demise, he wrote to a woman he was devoted to and signed it "from your Valentine." Read about it here. So really, asking someone to be your Valentine, in my mind, is a terrible thing! You want this person to go off and die because of their beliefs and actions, leaving you alone and bereft! Not to mention it's just become a ridiculously commercialized holiday that pretty much means nothing. How does a general box of chocolates, a teddy bear, and roses mean anything when it's the motherload of all days for everyone to do the exact same thing? Not to mention, most of the flower bouquets I see are pretty awful looking. I did see 1 - ONE! - arrangement out of ALL the flowers I saw ALL day that I liked, and considered buying them for myself, but didn't feel like spending $20. What I'm saving those $20 for I'm not sure...but eh. Whatever.
Speaking of Valentine's day, I seem to have issues with commitment (haha - well, this conversation could go in so very many directions, let's just skip past all my personal issues and get back to something a bit more immediately relevant, shall we?). I like leaving things until the last minute - just in case of a "What if" should pop up. Like the 9th Ave Food Festival. They said they'd love to have me there, and to get all my paperwork and payment in as early as possible, as space fills up quickly. It's set for May 18th and 19th - quite a ways away, in my mind. What if I book a show that's out of town? There are absolutely no refunds given - I'd be out $600. But why keep waiting on Life to throw me a "What If" when I can make a decision and MAKE something happen? In my mind I don't like being "tied down" - but really, when have I ever just picked up and gone? It's a constant fantasy of mine, but I've never actually done it. Reality is, I very well might not book any out of town work this season, and will probably be tied here in the city all year - so why not just decide to do that anyway, figure I'll make money with my three jobs, cut down and more carefully select the auditions I attend to fit with these plans, instead of trying to leave everything open-ended in case I book work? That seems like a sensible plan - and it's different from what I've done the last few years. It's good to shake things up a bit. There is so much to be done while I'm right here in NYC, things I haven't done before, avenues I've not yet tried. I'm not talking about exploring the city literally (though I should definitely do that, too), but acting wise. People wise. It's time I got to it.