Yesterday was a rough day. A friend had to put their cat down. She was a cat I'd known for over a year, and was always a sweet little thing. It was hard seeing her in so much pain, and it brought back all the memories of my myriad of furry friends I've had to see pass: 1 dog, 1 cat, 2 guinea pigs, 3 rats, 3 horses, 6 bunnies, and countless fish. One day I'll have to let Stry go. It was a crushing realization. Earlier that day he had snuggled right up to me and we took a nap, blissful as could be. It made my heart very heavy. And reliving the final moments I had with each of my pets - I could fully recall memories I hadn't thought about in years, as clearly as if it had been that day: stroking their fur, holding them in my hands as they took their last breath, cradling their heavy head, saying my last goodbye and giving my last kisses. It is always a shock to the system - seeing life flow out of a creature. Some more violently than others, some dearer to your heart.
It is truly amazing how resilient the human heart is. I am so tender and yet so strong - to be able to go through the painful passing of a beloved friend who's been your constant companion for however many years, always there for you; to greet you at the door, snuggle on the couch, chase their tail, cover you in sloppy kisses, perch on your shoulder with their little feet, whuffle your hair and face with minty breath; are there for you to cling to or ride your cares away on, and to not become bitter or hard with so much sadness, but be able to do it all over again - love again and again and again, even though you know, one day, it will end, and your heart will be broken. With animals, at least, I understand the meaning of the quote "better to have loved than never loved at all."
Looking back, I think I've had more relationships with animals than with people. I understand them - it is so refreshing and relaxing to be able to not have to second guess actions and motives, their underlying reasoning why they do things, or what they really want from you. I think, in a way, I am very simple and I like being around other things that are simple and don't question me, but accept me and I can accept them. We're on the same page, so then we can get to know each others intricacies, and admire how deeply complex God made us. Well, at least I can on them - I'm really not sure how cognizant animals are. Sometimes Stry seems to be a knowledgeable creature with something shining out from inside him, and then there are the times he cries at me at 3am for no good reason.
They are a mystery. A simple, exquisite mystery.
It is truly amazing how resilient the human heart is. I am so tender and yet so strong - to be able to go through the painful passing of a beloved friend who's been your constant companion for however many years, always there for you; to greet you at the door, snuggle on the couch, chase their tail, cover you in sloppy kisses, perch on your shoulder with their little feet, whuffle your hair and face with minty breath; are there for you to cling to or ride your cares away on, and to not become bitter or hard with so much sadness, but be able to do it all over again - love again and again and again, even though you know, one day, it will end, and your heart will be broken. With animals, at least, I understand the meaning of the quote "better to have loved than never loved at all."
Looking back, I think I've had more relationships with animals than with people. I understand them - it is so refreshing and relaxing to be able to not have to second guess actions and motives, their underlying reasoning why they do things, or what they really want from you. I think, in a way, I am very simple and I like being around other things that are simple and don't question me, but accept me and I can accept them. We're on the same page, so then we can get to know each others intricacies, and admire how deeply complex God made us. Well, at least I can on them - I'm really not sure how cognizant animals are. Sometimes Stry seems to be a knowledgeable creature with something shining out from inside him, and then there are the times he cries at me at 3am for no good reason.
They are a mystery. A simple, exquisite mystery.
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